Home, sweet home

After moving to Finland, I used to visit Estonia with a feeling in my heart that I am going home. Of course, that feeling was mostly present during the ferry ride and already in the port I had to realize how Finland has become my home and I am like a tourist in Tallinn. But that brief time on the Baltic Sea always deceived me and gave me very mixed feelings as if was somehow caught in between. However, this weekend was very different from the others. My mother picked me up in the early Friday morning and as I said goodbye to my home I knew that my heart is left behind there as soon as I get to the car which made the journey to the Estonia a lot more enjoyable.  You can only be disappointed in your expectations, isn’t that painfully true?

I love Estonia. There is no place like Estonia. But sometimes I think that thank god there isn’t. Immediately in Tallinn you can see the misery and nervousness in the society which is reflected by the way people drive, walk or even look at you. And then there are big posters of the most annoying looking new prime minister with the message that it is crucial to spend money on Estonian security.  I mean really?!  Children support is not even 20 euros per month, most people get paid 2 to 3 euros per hour and let’s prioritize the defense force since that would make it super realistic to beat Russia in a war? This made me lose my nerves immediately.  

But the trip itself was nice despite the fact that I didn’t have any time to visit my friends. Instead we stayed at my mother’s friend who pampered us with a lot of good food and during the day we mostly drove around in South-Estonia visiting different relatives including my father. Since me and V are already getting rid of all the materia we own, it was V’s wish to give his guitar to my dad. He became really ecstatic about that awesome gift especially when noticing all the Led Zeppelin notes that came with the package.

 Of course the weekend was emotionally draining as well, especially for my mother who hadn’t seen most of her relatives over ten years. But we balanced it out quite well by relaxing in the evening with sauna and wine and petting the most adorable animals -->
I also managed to eat around 20 liters of my favorite red soup seljanka since soups are shamefully unpopular in Finland.

We arrived back home late Sunday evening where I was warmly welcomed with the world’s best lasagne. Back at our Myyrmäki apartment I really felt how far I have come. Not so much distance wise but you know, with building a future here. And that acknowledgement gives me strength to cope with everything.